"In my age, as in my youth, night brings me many a deep remorse. I realize that from the cradle up I have been like the rest of the race -- never quite sane in the night."
-- Mark Twain's Autobiography
Although I wouldn't quite say "a deep remorse," I find a lot of truth in Twain's quote. There's something about the darkness of night, lying awake in bed, when thoughts seem to cascade upon each other into an ocean of worry.
To quote someone else that at least a few of you will recognize:
"Sometimes I lie awake at night and wonder, where my life will lead, waiting to pass under, sleep's dark and silent gate."
Maybe it's that at night, my mind is relatively quiet, and so, free from the literal and figurative noise of a busy day, it turns to the more pressing worries that have been kept at bay. Maybe it's that my mind is just tired and harder to control. Or maybe it's just plain scarier when it's dark.
Either way, when the light of morning comes, the problems seem to recede like low tide, becoming more manageable and making me wonder why I was worrying about them in the first place.
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It's really great being back at Dana-Farber, but it was a bit odd to see Dr. LaCasce (my oncologist) walk into the room at a meeting I was in.
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Some housekeeping. We've narrowed it down to three possible names (four if you count leaving the blog as My Untitled Blog ): One Thought At A Time, The Write Path and Thinking Out Loud. If you're so inclined, feel free to comment directly on the blog. To do that, you have to follow the link in the email. I think you should get two links -- one which is called the name of the post (in this case, Good Mornings) and then one which is linked on the name of the blog, for now, "My Untitled Blog." Either one will take you to the blog address at msbuller.blogspot.com, where you can comment for the world (or the 10 of us who are currently invited to see this blog) to see.