Day +95 - Ups and Downs

 Well, as Stacy summed up so well on our Caring Bridge site, it's been an up and down couple of weeks.

The down being that the GI issues which have been a constant side effect continued to the point where I had lost weight and was a bit dehydrated. It also threw some of my labs off. So that meant some IV fluids and a colonoscopy later in the week. The hunt was on for the cause of the persistent issues: perhaps a GI infection or perhaps GVHD (graft versus host disease) of the GI tract. We also reduced the amount of magnesium I was taking, in the event that was bothering my gut, too. 

The up being that post-colonoscopy I started feeling a bit better. And the pathology from the procedure confirmed no infection, but evidence of mild to moderate GVHD. So we've started on a mild steroid that targets the GI tract, and doesn't have the same immunosuppressive side effects that a stronger steroid (such as prednisone) has. And between these different interventions, these past 7-10 days have been about as good as I've felt in weeks, if not months. 

We return for a visit on Wednesday (day +97!) as we seem to be back to weekly visits for now, but hopefully we get good news that labs are continuing to improve, and we are clear to move off the neutropenic diet. That would mean bring on the take out food!  We'll see in a couple days.

I'd be lying, though if i didn't say the ups and downs have been a struggle. It's hard to see the light of progress through the gray down days. Hard not to obsess about every abnormal lab result. A little knowledge is a dangerous thing. But having weeks like I've had of late - which included a couple of outdoor meals in the backyard with family! -- really help shine the light bright enough to help cut through the darkness of the next valley.

I've also been struggling with cabin fever. Of course, we're practiced at the whole lock down thing, but during the pandemic, when everyone was locked down, we were all in it together. Now, I'm locked down while the rest of the world is unchained, free to dine out, go to stores, sporting events, meet in person, and generally carry on. Sometimes it's hard to watch the world go by but I know I'll get there. It's just going to take a few more months.

Day +80: Lazy Writing and Random Thoughts

 The posts are slowing down. The days are speeding up. I have a collection of ideas in my head but no coherent theme, so this post will live up to the blog title; it'll just be me thinking out loud. In fact, we may go the old-fashioned, lazy writer route: bullets.

• Sunday marks Day +80 since transplant and so we are less than three weeks from the potential return of pizza, bagels, and Thai take out. That wouldn't have excited me as much 2-3 weeks ago when a lot of food tasted either very salty or very cardboard-y. But now it's maybe 80-90% normal and so the idea of being able to do take out is extremely appealing, particularly because it might also mean the opportunity to go to a restaurant with outdoor seating.
   
• Equally important is that Day 100 marks a milestone when a neutropenic (low bacteria) diet is no longer necessary. I'm not sure what other doors open at day 100. I'm not going to be heading to a Taylor Swift concert anytime soon... or ever.  Crowds and colds are still dangerous to me. To give some perspective, at nine months post transplant, I start getting many of the vaccines that I had as a child... but with my old immune system. For the next six months, even if it's safer to go out, I still have no active Covid immunity, let alone any other immunity. So it will still be a while before I'm socializing in real life, and not on my laptop. Good thing masks are somewhat normalized now. 
  
  
• Speaking of colds, I had the thought the other day that one way to approach some of the lingering side effects is how some people approach a mild cold. There are some colds that knock you out; but for many, you just carry on about your life with a bit of it's-just-a-little-cold attitude. Maybe you drink a little more orange juice, try to get a little more sleep, but life goes on. 
  
  
• And then I had the polar opposite thought as I glanced at my blood count chart for the hospital. There was almost a full week when my white blood cells were barely detectable; where my platelets and red blood cells were so low that I needed transfusions. It's just over two months later and I'm living a pretty normal day-by-day existence, albeit with a few more pills and a lot more isolation. Sometimes I forget how far I've come in a relatively short time.
  
  
• It certainly helps with the isolation to have the boys home. Granted, it introduces the potential for more germs as they are out and about. But we're being careful and I've gone from seeing one person a day to three! And bonus: I like seeing these people!
  
  
• We head in to Dana-Farber on Monday for my now bi-weekly MD appointment. Hope the labs bring nothing interesting to report, but if anything odd turns up, I know my team will deal with it.