Finding the Fun

Can you look forward to a doctor's appointment?

How about an oncologist's appointment?

As my appointment with Dr. LeCasce draws near, I'm finding that I'm looking forward to it. And then I'm finding that I feel something close to guilt for looking forward to it. Clearly I think too much.

But it's true that I'm looking forward to the appointment, and I think I know why. Yes, part of is that there's always that part of me that denies that I'm sick -- that part that believes this will all be written off as a lymph node or five run amok. The more rational part of me knows that's not the case -- that I may be leaving with the beginning of a treatment plan (and I'm getting to be okay with that but more on that in a future post). When you get right down to it, though, as an eternal optimist, a doctor's appointment to me is always the opportunity for good news of any kind.

 There's also a more tangible reason for the anticipation. This being a six-month appointment means that along with the blood work comes CT scans. Beyond the added joy of drinking some cherry-flavored beverage and going from 6 am to 10 am without food or, more important, COFFEE, it means that Stacy comes along for the ride -- and that when we're done with appointments, we can have lunch in Boston.

 It may seems little trivial (and if I had the chance to pass on the doctor's appointment and just have lunch with Stacy in Boston, I would gladly do that) but I think that it helps at least in a small way to find ways to have fun, even in trips to the oncologist.  Maybe we'll even take some pictures. -


michael