Epiphanies

In the world of literature and movies, life-changing events (like cancer diagnoses) are served up with a side dish of epiphanies. Either done as a bargain with God or a self-made promise to enjoy life to its fullest, fictional characters vow to abandon a slew of bad behaviors. Smiles everyone. Music swells. Roll credits.

It doesn't happen that way. 

At least it hasn't for me. Part of it may be that my life-changing diagnosis hasn't changed my life all that much. But part of it is also that I don't want to change. At least not that much. It's imossible to appreciate every moment of every day of every week, especially if you're trying to focus on living life after diagnosis, just like you did before diagnosis -- except for the occasional visit to the oncologist.

There are some things that I am doing differently -- I'm trying to eat more fruits and vegetables, and less sugar, for instance. And as I wrote around New Year's, I'm trying to appreciate the kids for who they are more -- and maybe have a little more patience. 

But those are more resolutions than epiphanies. Maybe my perspective will change but I hope not. I am who I am and I don't need a cancer diagnosis to help me figure that out.