Monday, September 10, 2012

Getting Ready

It's been a full week, I think, since my last post. Sorry for the delay, but I was traveling for work last week and instead of blogging, was doing a fair amount of tweeting (see the feed at right!) and that didn't leave much time for the TOL.

Another, perhaps more significant reason is that I've been in a fairly status quo state of mind. As my first day of treatment approaches, I find myself, to be honest, oddly looking forward to it.  That wasn't always the case. In the weeks following the decision to treat, I've wavered between feelings of "Oh, my god, I'm getting chemo!" to "I have a trip to the doctor coming up."

I've contemplated the possibilities and the potential complications -- side effects, allergic reactions, the chance that the drugs don't do the trick -- but I've tried to move those to mental off-site storage. I'll recall them if I need them later. By releasing the worry, I can allow my mind to fill the free space with more positive thoughts -- like the the notion of putting this into a nice, long remission.

Part of my mental readiness I think is due to the fact that I feel good.  I had a physical with my primary care doctor last Friday and all systems check out. Went for a speed workout this weekend and fared well. And i continue to feel symptom free-- in fact, the one lymph node that's been most palpable even feels like its receded a bit, perhaps in fear of the upcoming treatment.

Am I being overly optimistic and unrealistic? Who knows? But with three days until treatment begins, I'm ready to get it going. Ive got my Netflix queue lined up with movies  (although I'm disappointed in their lack of selection for the on demand movies. No Princess Bride?! What?!) and am prepared for a long but quiet day on Yawkey 8 (that's Dana-Farber speak for the 8th floor of the Yawkey Center for Cancer Care).

Thanks to everyone for their support (and movie suggestions both on and offline). 

--michael

And in case you are unfamiliar with The Princess Bride, here's the trailer